Walking away.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's 3:22 now but i dont feel like sleeping. sigh.
it's the end of the yr, so i shall think back. though im feeling slightly woozy doozy now. haha.

07/08. these two yrs just passed in a flash. like that.
and i dont even know what i had done, or did not do.
i really am a failure at 16/17 yrs old. and i'll not let myself be one from now on.
hopefully, 2009 will be a goodbye to my past and i'll change for the better.

seriously, i dont know what'd gone into me these past two years.
like the living dead, like those in owen's poems.
just letting everyday past by me without caring, without doing anything.
in the past, i'm not even like that.
a 7 years old (since pri sch) to 16, i'd feel sad, or at least a tinge of remorse when i didnt do well, or failed in anything.
but these 2 yrs (or mostly last yr), if i fail, i just let it be. omg i dont know what i had become.
tt's really not me. i think i suddenly lose track of direction or something. i would not have let myself do so badly. even if i dont care about results, i would have at least cared abt face, abt reputation, abt how people think of me.
but last year, i just dont care. my god. idk. dont know what happened.
i just let it be.
and let myself sink so deeply that i nearly do not have the chance to rise to the surface again.
and the thing is that,
i know that i could have done it,
i myself know that i have the ability to do it,
if i just put in a teeny tin-ny bit of effort
unlike some people who really really might need more time.
and that's what hurts the most now.

of course, consequences of my actions, of my stupidity.
still trying hard to handle it.
though i told myself it's alright, laugh to myself that it's nothing. pretend to others that it's ok,
but still,
seeing the success of everyone else is painful.
i know i could be like them,
but i didnt even give myself the opportunity to begin with.

this'll be the first, and the last time i break down. i really hate being weak. urghhh.
from now on, i'll be strong.
brave enough to face the future ahead and really not give myself any chance to regret anymore.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

THIS POST IS SPECIALLY FOR MAS !
this is chace crawford, the one i told you who's much hotter than zac efron (in my opinion only, people pls dont go bombarding me):

see i'm so nice. i even found the side view for you. it's a sin not to know him kayy. so thank god (or thank me) your sin is removed, or whatever you call it.

front view:

close-up:

side view

and this is his sister. i can only say it's in the genes

and this is ed westwick, another lead in gossip girl. i shall lend you if i can find it in my room!

CC+EW=even the sun admits that he/she is not as hot. ( i dunno the sun's gender, i think the sun's a male?)

kaixian
dlss, cgs, vjc

Affiliates

angela arkar atikah benjamin bobby brainer carol cherry diana farrah felicia geraldine ginger ivy janine joan joanne krystle liwen lydia madeline maisarah masliana may hsu minxue nengzi phyllicia priscilla puen rachel samantha ho samantha liew samantha lim samantha tan sarah ho shafina shana shimin silicon shi ping shufen stephanie sye yuet teresa valerie vanya vera snr wani wan man weixue xinyi xuehui xuelian yingyi yuching sir yuxiang zesa zijing

PIcs
squad outing cum crescent speech day 07 by weixue
crezawards'07 by weixue
traka at aj by geraldine
squad chalet photos '06 by weixue

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